Things Change In A Year

I can't help but look at the date today. I look at it and feel sad. And not only do I feel sad, I feel disappointed. Around this time last year, I was happy. Content. Full of joy and life. Everything was going right. I remember thinking to myself, "I seriously can't wait for where I'll be on this very date next year." Do I feel this way now? No. It just makes me think about everything that went wrong. So far, this year hasn't gone in my favor the way I wanted it to. Last year was amazing.. The best year I ever had. I wish I could say I was having a great year, but unfortunately I can't. But luckily for me.. There's still time for that to change. I'm praying for a change. A year changes everything. It honestly does. Last year, I never would've thought I would be disappointed a year later. If I could go back in time and relive those days again, I would in a heartbeat. I keep asking, "Why God? Why did this have to happen? Why did it have to change?" I haven't received an answer, but I hope I get something to clarify why this had to happen. I hope to obtain strength and wisdom somehow from everything. They say "time heals all wounds" but I don't necessarily agree with that. Time continues to pass and am I happy yet? No, I'm still confused and sad. What I do know is Jesus heals all wounds. What I need to do is continue to trust Him to fix me. I'm too hesitant -- I can't willingly surrender like I should. I'm like Peter when he walked on water. I get distracted from everything around me instead of looking at Jesus, and I'm lacking the faith to just walk towards Him. So instead I'm sinking, crying out, "Help!" while Jesus is calling to me, "Look at me. Look at me. Have faith, and just look at me." Then I think back to that song that says, "When I fix my eyes on all that You are, then every doubt I feel deep in my heart grows strangely dim." And then the verse in Romans comes to mind: "And we know they in ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love Him." So yes, things can change in a year. Sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it doesn't seem like it's a good thing but it actually is, and sometimes it's a bad thing. But no matter what, God will direct our steps. So yes, today the date makes me sad. But maybe next year I'll look at it and no longer feel that way. It's just one day. There's 364 other days to make up for today. And just saying that honestly makes me so happy. Thank you Lord for a new day. :)