This is so hard on me. I'm craving God so desperately--I can feel my hunger and need for Him. Part of me is reaching for Him while another part is being ripped away from His grasp. I feel like Satan is after me more than ever, and I don't know why. I'm so confused.
I just want it all to stop. It's everything in my life, it's like my world is spinning. I feel like God is with me, but I'm still lonely all at the same time. I miss people so badly and all I want is to see them. I just want to spill everything that's on my mind, to someone, anyone who is listening.
The truth is, I don't have it all together. In fact, I'm just faking it until I make it. I just want answers, and truth. Is that too much to ask? Am I going to be okay? I need You, Jesus. I need something. Something is missing. Fill my empty heart. Show me Your love, mercy, and grace.
Thank God for worship music, and thank God for Hillsong United. I would be so lost without their heavenly music.
"Lord I hear You I know You're there
Closer now than my skin and bones could dare
Breathing deep within me
You are always with me
I can see You where eyes can't stare
Brighter now than the sun could ever dare
Breathing all around me
God I know You're with me here.."
I'm just gonna keep singing this until it's true. You are with me, Jesus. Your love for me is endless. And the person reading this.. Please keep me in your prayers. I would so appreciate it. Thank you. And if for some reason you feel the same way as me, feel free to reach out to me. You are not alone.
-Jessalyn
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