I have many dreams, but I really just want to write out the most important ones, and explain them the best I can. And none of these dreams are in a specific order of importance, because in my eyes they're all equal.
I dream about loving myself. This might be the most bizarre dream ever, but honestly, it's a big dream of mine. I've always been insecure; from the moment I hit puberty, I just felt ashamed of my appearance. I would look in the mirror and cringe at the face staring back at me. Looking at my figure made me sick. I hated myself. Not only did I hate my outer appearance, I hated everything about what was inside as well. I hated my personality and the way I easily got hurt and upset over basically anything. These insecurities still haunt me today. I still experience them. Sometimes I blame my low self-esteem for the reason I'm single today. I have no idea why either. If I could just learn to love myself.. I know I would be happier. But it's so hard to love yourself whenever people bring you down, and people you love decide one day you just aren't worth it anymore. I'm trying, and I will beat this. I will conquer it and spit in its face. I love will love myself, broken pieces and all.
I dream about giving God the glory. I must say, #G3 is life. That is something I desire to do. I want everything I do to honor Him. I want every success of mine to reflect Him. I want people to know it's all Him and not me. He is my everything, and He created me, so He deserves all the fame.
I dream about being a writer. I can't explain it but writing makes me feel alive. I'm at peace within myself whenever these words flow out of me like music. It's such a crazy thing how it has this affect on me. I feel like I belong, that I matter whenever I'm writing. I don't ever want that to be taken from me. It is mine. I want to spend the rest of my life doing what I know God has gifted me with. I believe there is power in words. I want to use that power to do good. That's all that I could ever ask.
I dream about falling in love. I mean head-over-heels, so-happy-I-cannot-function, in love. I want to find that special someone with eyes that melt my heart and a smile that could rid the world of evil. I want that so badly I can't even begin to explain it. I'm a hopeless romantic. I've spent my entire life watching Disney movies about Princesses finding their soul mates, the handsome Princes who sweep them off their feet. I've read novel after novel about love and yes, my expectations are high, but never impossible. ;) I honestly think the guy I marry will be extremely lucky, because this girl has so much love to offer, and it's such a shame that I've wasted it on people who have decided they can't be with me anymore. And honestly, that kills me. If I love someone, I love them hard. They couldn't ask for more from me. But at the end of the day, I just keep telling myself that there's so much better out there for me, someone desperately searching for that love I have inside me. And right now it's hard to believe all of that, but I know it's true. Falling in love and getting married is one of my biggest desires, and I know God will give me that. I'm anxiously waiting for that moment whenever I get to look into that wonderful man's eyes and say, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..." (Go read that poem if you haven't!)
I dream about seeing our culture so influential with the gospel that humanity can't ignore it. I want to see God moving in our hearts! This life is full of bumps and rough turns, but taking ahold of God's hand makes the walk bearable. It's hard trying to follow God in a world that has become so fed up with our culture. People believe our generation has no hope, but I've witnessed some amazing things in my sixteen years of living. I have hope for us. I believe our generation is going to step out in faith and be an army ready to fight for the glory of God. I believe we will change lives and experience His love more and more. It's time for us to surrender all to Him. Because once we taste His grace, we will never be the same. I am so ready to be apart of His beautiful plan for our generation. My dream is that people will join me in doing so.
These to me are the most important ones. While I have many more dreams like being serenaded to A Whole New World from Aladdin or Let Me Be Your Wings from Thumbelina, I felt like they weren't important enough to be included in this post. Maybe next time though, because c'mon, who doesn't want to go on a magic carpet ride or have a fairy Prince take them flying? ;) Until next time readers!
