The Path Of Sin

Isn't it crazy how one day life is going right, then the next moment everything is crumbling at your feet? I like to think I can be flexible and positive in any circumstance, and keep the faith. I rely deeply on my relationship with God through the biggest struggles in my life. But right now, my faith is shaky. 

It's not that I'm blaming God for what I'm going through, because He's about the only thing that's keeping me going. It's my faith in certain people. It's not always the easiest situation to be in. It will drain you before you know it. I'm battling whether it's time to cut ties or hold on. But I'll be honest here, holding on hurts. A lot. So what about the people who are hurting you, and they don't even realize it? How do you tell them, "stop it, you're hurting me"? They don't get it, they don't understand. Their choices are deeply affecting you, and those around you. They're going their own way, and not looking back. They are willing to sacrifice everything, because they don't see the consequences. 

Let me tell you some truth here: If you choose the path of sin, be prepared to leave those around you wounded. The ones who love you most, the ones who care about your well-being, the knife will cut deeper into them with every choice of sin you make. 

In my own life, I'm finally beginning to understand the pain Jesus feels everyday. I finally see it from His eyes, and the pain is unbearable. We reject Him, we push Him away, we don't listen to Him as we're sinking deeper and deeper into the sea of sin, as He's crying out, "You don't know what you're doing! Come back to me! This isn't what you truly want!" His hand is right there, He's begging us to take hold of it, but we're so blinded and lost in the moment that we don't see it there. 

I get it now. And Jesus, I'm so sorry. I've always asked Him, "Break the things in me that break Your heart," and I've felt so sick inside lately now that my eyes have been opened. It's not worth it. Losing people in your life, losing hold of God, it's not worth it. At the end of the day, we all have a choice. You have a choice, I have a choice. He has set before us death and life. So what will you choose? God says, "choose life." (Deuteronomy 30:19) 

And about cutting ties with people that are hurting you, that decision is ultimately up to you. Are you willing to put up with it? Are you willing to hurt for certain people? I question everyday what I should do. Sometimes maybe the solution is distancing yourself from the hurt. That's what I've tried to do. If I could choose, I'd rather not hurt at all. 

I always find myself quoting lyrics from my favorite worship songs, but they bring me so much comfort. There's this line from a song that says, "In the midst of my darkness, will You shine Your light? Bring me hope again.. speak to me." And goes on to say, "When all is lost, I will find myself in You." No matter what season of life you're in, whatever it is that you're going through, you can find yourself in Him. Always Jesus.