I've gotten pretty good at telling myself that it's fine. "It'll be okay, sleep it off" or "don't worry about it, you're just tired." Recently I've discovered that those combinations of words are passive lies we tell ourselves. I've felt the change come but I couldn't possess the urge to ensure that I could handle the change and keep myself from living a certain lie. That certain lie is that everything will endure. Life isn't a cosmic vending machine, neither is God. So we must hold on for the ride of, literally, a lifetime.
When I mention that change comes, I mean the change of people. People develop and mature, but unfortunately that means those relationships fade out. I've attempted to find a way to save it, but I'm through hurting myself to try and save a hope that has fleeted me months ago.
In a way, change is something I welcome. I've never been the most secure person either. Therefore that ever-so-perfect combination means that I'm often uncomfortable with the change that I always try to leave my door open to. However, I feel like now is the time to get ahold of my life, because if I don't now, I never will.
The first effort I try to give in any situation is my upmost care and help. However, when you feel like you're about to go off a cliff, I'd assume most people would take a step back and realize that it's not worth it. See, going off a cliff would be so thrilling... Until the impact at the bottom. We never realize that the fun and games will have an end. We never think ahead towards the ending, especially when our lives are going exceptionally well.
That's why you must be the Captain of your own life. Your heart decides who you want in your life. It guides you along the voyage of life just like the stars guiding sailors of old. We must be reminded that even though we are guided away to a different destination, the point can remain on the map. The piece of that person can remain in your heart.
I encourage everyone to let their hearts lead them along where their stars have said they are going. There are so many places that you can be lead. Take control. As Taya Smith says; "And if from the course You intend I depart, speak to the sails of my wandering heart." So in other words, never hesitate to make sure that along the journey, decide who and what will be best in your journey's path and you follow along that path to the best of your ability.
As for me, I shall do the same. Letting go those who bring me down, or lead me to a dangerous cliff has been a haunting ghost in my life. It's a treacherous course to take, however, if you deserve more than being that convenient friend, then don't suffer. Remember why you had to put more in than you ever got back. Don't bring yourself down. Take initiative and let that person or thing go. If you love something, especially yourself, be courageous and know that your life must be lead and take the steps to leave the heartache where it lies.
Just remember that nothing is forever, people change, things change, and life is most definitely like a box of chocolates. So never forget that you are worth more than you could ever imagine. You deserve more than you know.
Stay classy my friends,
William
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