We look for love in different places, and sometimes we tend to forget exactly who Love really is. I'll be the first to admit.. I do it 24/7. I romanticize romance. I stick "Loved by True Love Himself" in my bio, but do I really believe Jesus is True Love Himself? I tell myself I'm perfectly content being single, but I know and everyone else knows I'm not always content.
I'm aware I'm totally roasting myself right now, but it's part of being a blogger and writer and doing what I'm doing. I can't preach stuff to you all and not apply it in my own life. Half the things I write about I'm guilty of, and I constantly have to take my own advice. I'm just as guilty (if not more guilty) than anyone else.
I'm going to be real here. I get embarrassed admitting stuff like this.. But here we go. I want love. I really do. At night I lay there listening to worship music, and with each song, the lyrics are pouring into my heart, and all I can think about is how it's so lonely listening to such beautiful songs by myself. I just want to find someone to listen to all these songs with... someone to experience this.. feeling with. That feeling of God's presence in my heart. I want someone who will be just as obsessed with worship music as I am. To me.. That's the ultimate relationship goals, finding that person to listen to worship music with. Seems silly, right? But to me it's really not.
I'm so young, I'm so naive and probably so not ready for it all yet, but the want and the need is there. When I want something and desire it, it's all I think about.
Carl Lentz, a preacher from Hillsong Church in New York City, did a sermon where he talked about dating. He was straight preaching some truth, and it gave me this whole new perspective on dating. He said to occupy your lane, occupy your street. Run your race towards God, with your head down, and keep running to Him. Eventually, you can look up, and you'll see someone running their own race too. He said we need that, someone occupying their own street, not someone watching us occupy ours. That's just an incredible way of looking at it. I seriously recommend everyone look up the video on YouTube because he goes into great depth and I promise you'll take something away from it. Watch it and meditate on Matthew 6:33, "But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also." (AMP)
Here's some more truth that will embarrass me: this summer has been a bit of a whirlwind for me. A lot of disappointments, a lot of rejections. I keep asking myself why I get my hopes up, why nothing goes the way I want it to. I throw the blame on myself.
If you had just done this...
If you had just said this..
If you would pursue God more..
If you would stop having impossible standards..
If you were prettier..
If you would stop being so hesitant..
Isn't it amazing how the enemy likes to plant these kind of thoughts in our heads? Sometimes things don't work out, sometimes it doesn't always go our way, but I have to ask myself, does it really matter that much? I have to pick my head up, and keep occupying my lane. I should dance, I should sing, I should praise Jesus because it didn't work out. Greater things are ahead for me.
Amanda Cook said it best:
"Isn't it just like God to turn our disappointments into a dance floor?"
Hear me out people: we all will experience hurts, disappointments, rejection. We will want to blame ourselves for things not working out, we will feel unworthy of love. We cannot believe these lies. That's all they are... Just lies. Jesus really is True Love Himself, and you.. YOU are loved by True Love Himself. You have to believe that. While searching on Tumblr one day, I found this little saying and it just hit me like a brick, especially since I had been feeling so much pain from rejection.
"Jesus knew about rejection His entire time on Earth, but it did not change how He loved."
HOW GOOD IS THAT?! Don't stop loving just because you've felt rejected from someone or something. I want to strive to be like Jesus, not letting rejection change how I love.
I love the idea of life being like a big dance with Jesus. I had never thought of it that way until I listened to a song from Bethel Music called We Dance. Here's the thing though: when we're dancing with Jesus, we tend to focus our eyes on the floor, watching our feet, hoping we don't trip or step on another's foot. And when we're not staring at the floor, we're looking around the room at everyone else, hoping to find the perfect person to cut in and sweep us off our feet.
This is the perfect example of me. It's exactly what I do. I look around at everyone else, hoping for that perfect guy to be my dance partner. That's not what I should be doing, it's not what you should be doing. Instead, we should be locking eyes on Jesus, the One who is leading us in this dance. He's whispering, "I know how badly you ache to be loved. But look into My eyes, don't you see the love I have for you?"
I get so caught up in my loneliness and my desire for love that I'm not even locking eyes with Jesus. Silly me, no wonder I get hurt so much. Who could ever love me more than Jesus? Who could possibly be a better dance partner than Him?
What I want you to take away from this is to embrace rejection, embrace the loneliness and the disappointments. Look to Jesus.. He will teach you how to create a dance floor on it all. Stop looking at your feet, stop looking around, and lock eyes with Jesus. He is the only source of good, pure water in this world. I know you're thirsty for something more.. And I promise you He is what you're longing for.
"You steady me--slow and sweet, we sway--take the lead and I will follow. Finally ready now to close my eyes and just believe that You won't lead me where You don't go.... And I will lock eyes with the One who's ransomed me, the One who gave me joy for mourning. And I will lock eyes with the One who's chosen me, the One who set my feet to dancing.."
