All You Have Done

"The fear that held us now gives way to Him who is our peace. His final breath upon the cross is now alive in me..."

Today.. This day.. There's so many emotions running through me. I feel so complete in Jesus that sometimes I can't mentally or emotionally handle it. I'm desperately trying to hold back tears right now as I write this because I think about how unworthy I am. I am so unworthy and undeserving of His love. I sometimes question why He would ever bother with me, like why am I even worth His time? I just feel like a complete nobody in a world full of somebody's. What could I ever offer a perfect God?

But the greatest part of the story is the fact that even though none of us are worthy or deserving, He still pursues us. We screw up daily, we make stupid mistakes, we hurt people, we lust after one another, we use each other, and we chase after everything but God, and yet, He still WANTS us. Not only that, He also sees beauty in us despite the fact that we're all broken and incomplete inside. The truth is, we're only complete when we give our hearts to Him.

Today is the day to celebrate Jesus, and how we actually have a chance to live a life much greater than ourselves, thanks to His death and resurrection. I feel like we take for granted what He did for us. We cannot forget what He's done.. The amount of suffering and pain He experienced. He was humiliated and beaten to pay the price of our sins; that is what real, never-ending love looks like. I tend to forget all that He's done for me, but when I do remember, it makes me want to resist my flesh all the more. I need the reminder of Jesus' sacrifice daily, we all do. 

I found this on Tumblr recently, and it really had me thinking about Jesus here on earth. I can't resist sharing! 

"Do you ever just think about Jesus living here on earth?

I think sometimes we tend to think He just bounced from one miracle to another and everyday was a Bible story, but His ministry lasted for three years and the Gospels don’t actually cover that much so
imagine all those ordinary days?

He probably had favorite foods and morning routines and sore dirty feet from walking, while sweat ran in His eyes in the hot Judean sun and He got blisters and hiccups and colds and maybe He snored..

All the times He laughed till He cried, and I bet He had inside jokes with His disciples. Imagine having an inside joke with the person who gives you breath to laugh in the first place..

And He had human skills.. He knew how to build a house and cook and wash his clothes and read.

Imagine passing food at the dinner table and bumping hands with Jesus..

Talking about silly inconsequential things like the weather..

Maybe some nights John was sleepy and he leaned against Jesus and could hear His heartbeat 

Maybe some nights a disciple had insomnia and he climbed out of his bedroll to find Jesus sitting against a rock, looking up at heaven, and they sat and watched the stars together 

(the God of the universe looking up through short-sighted eyes at His creation, and the disciple wants so badly to ask what it was like to shape each star, but he looks at those calloused human hands and something in him trembles) 

do you ever think that the ordinary days so far outnumbered the miraculous ones that the disciples, sometimes, almost forgot..

And then He goes and turns water into wine and feeds five thousand people from a kid’s lunch and brings dead Lazarus walking alive out of the tomb and they just kind of lose their breath..

Not because they didn’t expect deity to accomplish the impossible but because this God has been living with them..

It’s not the miracles that are unthinkable. The human thing is what draws me to Him.. so much more.

~

When you think about it, it's the greatest story ever told. It's the kind of story that even if you don't think it's true, you can't help but find it interesting. We're talking about a perfect God in Heaven who created the stars and the world and humanity. This God that sees the sinful natures of His creation, and how He desperately wants to save His children from the consequences of their sins. Sending His own son to the earth to save us from ourselves. His son became one of us, and He touched every life who encountered Him. It's such a beautiful thing, the most beautiful story I've ever heard. And the best part of it all is I firmly and undoubtlingly believe it is the pure truth.

Easter means when the tomb is empty, my heart is full.

I'm going to end this blog now by sharing lyrics to a song that details everything Easter stands for.

"The moon and stars, they wept. The morning sun was dead. The Savior of the world was fallen. His body on the cross, His blood poured out for us. The weight of every curse upon Him. One final breath He gave, as Heaven looked away. The son of God was laid in darkness. A battle in the grave, the war on death was waged, the power of hell forever broken. The ground began to shake, the stone was rolled away, His perfect love could not be overcome. Now death where is your sting? Our resurrected King has rendered you defeated! Forever He is glorified, forever He is lifted high. Forever He is risen, He is alive, He is alive!"

One Year Anniversary of Blogging

Going through my old blog posts.. I am just amazed--Amazed that I actually started this thing. When I started it, I was basically a mess. It was a terrible time in my life, and I didn't know where I was going or what was going to happen to me. A year later, I am happy, old wounds have slowly but surely healed, and I am better than ever. I am beyond blessed and I recognize that and hope to never take that for granted.

Blogging was something I never thought I would do. I read blogs quite often, but I always thought it wasn't my style. I also thought poetry wasn't my style, but that definitely changed as well as this blogging idea. I truly believe it's changed my life in the best way.

For a period of time.. I actually thought about quitting my blog. And the reason wasn't because I hated it, it was because I felt like I wasn't writing anything worth reading. I felt like nobody cared, nobody was reading it, what was the point? But then I thought to myself,

"If one person reads it and gets something, anything from the words you're writing.. Then it's completely worth it."

Truthfully, I have no idea who all actually reads it. I have no idea the impact I have on the people who do read it. I hope something I say sticks with you or is something you need to hear. I pray that you get something from my blogs. But if not.. That's okay. I will keep writing. I feel led by God to continue on, because it's not about me.. Or about the views. It's about Him, it's about His glory, not my own.

I have many people to thank for supporting me this past year with my blog. My family, my friends, thank you for encouraging me in this. Thank you to my readers.. I'm beyond grateful. Thank you Jesus for being my biggest inspiration and biggest encourager. And William, you deserve your own individual thank you. You were the one who told me again and again, "start your own blog." I never thought I could do it, but you always believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself. I love you with all of my heart, and I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have you as my best friend.

I have so many more things in store for this blog. I've been slacking a little lately, thanks to school and all the stress, but I'm not finished yet. This blog will not be going away anytime soon. :) Be looking! So much love for you all!